Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
