wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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