nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
