This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
false alarm, still single
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
