it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
