I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
