If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
