just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize