before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
