god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
