you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
