they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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