i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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