Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
