yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
