i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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