Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize