dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
