We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
