love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
