Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize