so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
