Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize