Already got asked if we're dating
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
