I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
