when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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