So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
