I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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