Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize