pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Buhtt sex?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
