I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
