I think i peed on brittanys purse
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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