i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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