Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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