He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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