for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
