I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
