I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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