ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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