She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
