At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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