If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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