About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
