Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
