haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize