I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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