Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
