I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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