So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
