Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Blood and glitter go together right?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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