Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
