If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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