I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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