just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize