Whod you bang
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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