If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Holy shit dude........stairs
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