Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
