I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Let's get the cat blown out
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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