Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
